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INSPIRING THOUGHTS

...on the process of becoming and being "happy"

 

These are some writings that I have done for my blog and the monthly Angel Room newsletters......creating a happy world takes work.....these are notes from the work part of my journey.

Living In The Intention of Awakening…

29DEC

December 29, 2011

I dreamt this morning just before sunrise (when the veil is thinnest) that I was petting lions; there was a little cub who was doing tricks, so cute. Then I was guiding a workshop….people kept coming in and the group grew larger and larger, we were outdoors and it started to drizzle so we moved inside a large mansion…. there were black jaguars and black pit bull waiting to greet us, I was not afraid and walked in with confidence and felt at home. All was a love vibration and in harmony. We settled down in a large comfortable room and more people came in to join us.

I began the workshop and some of the people in the group became talkative and disruptive. I calmly and confidently approached them and reminded them that they had hired me to guide them through this meditation….that they needed to honor the commitment to their own presence there and that of the others…that they needed to acknowledge and release their desire to distract themselves and others or they would have to leave, some did…..some were asking questions like…”what is my spirit guide’s name, what is the number I vibrate to? Again I calmly replied “I would rather teach you about who you are than razzle dazzle you with intuitive tidbits and names. I am here to teach you about connecting with your energy in such a way as that you will be able to shift your life, you will be at the helm of your life, both hands on the wheel….this gift is 200 times greater than any name I could give you now so come with me, if you will, on this journey. Then YOU can then get the names and it will mean far more when you do than my giving them to you now.” or something like that.

I awoke very excited; I had received so much information from the dream I immediately wrote it down…here are the messages I received for all of us:

You ARE On Track, Always

We all seek validation along the way….check in with yourself now and ask if there is a part of you needing reassurance that you are on the right track. Gently acknowledge that it is normal and natural to feel this way from time to time. Hear the words of the all the great Masters. “Believe and you shall be healed” Release your need to know the details and jump into the flow of Universe. Open your heart and your mind to hear what I am going to say to you…

YOU ARE IN THE RIGHT PLACE, you are on the right track, you are evolving, you are shifting, you are amazing, you have the power within you to move mountains! TRUST yourself and your path, TRUST these words and guidance and Trust Universe and its unconditional support of and love for you. Open your heart to your sacred process of becoming your true self in this human body. Let all your fears about not being in the perfect place go as well as all your judgments about the past and all your human experiences. Jesus said, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” And so I ask you to forgive yourself for walking in the shadows and step into as much light as you can here and now.

The Path

You have a choice at all times….to move this way or that way, and to move quickly or slowly in your growth and opening. Never judge the pace or the direction. There are some of you who will feel nothing after working with Selenite, receiving Reiki or energy work; the changes will be so subtle. There are some of you who will feel completely changed. For those who feel nothing, know that something has changed within you no matter what you feel and it may be just the right amount of change that you need to keep your life in balance.

Sometimes along the way of life we grow or change quickly and it feels as though our entire life is falling apart. These times are sacred; we shall each pass through the dark night of the soul, times of rapid growth and awakening, seemingly packaged as trauma. We all lose our way for a bit but in these times we experience darkness so we may know and understand more deeply the light. And sometimes the changes are so soft, so gentle that they can only be seen when we encounter a very specific event or person and find ourselves reacting in a completely different way.

We are never alone in life. We are part of a web. We have family and friends that we are connected to and we are all moving together through this process. Even if we feel disconnected we are still connected by love, energy and entanglement. Sometimes slow and steady growth is needed and sometimes things need to fall apart for there to be growth. You will know, when you need to know, when it is time to move; there will be no stopping you and when it is time to rest, you will rest; there is no resisting it. Listen to yourself and heed the pace that your life sets for you, knowing that you are also part of a group, not just an individual. Balance is maintaining order and flow in our life and the lives of our loved ones. But again, sometimes losing balance is what is needed; sometimes we need to move away from our group if they choose to not grow with us. And it is all good for we shall always stay connected in love and the energy of growth will always be felt once that connection and bond is made.

"Reflections" by Rachel Krafton

Mirror Work

When we become crystal clear about awakening to the truth of who we really are then we will begin to truly see others as ourself; not as separate beings but as one with us. You will instantly see a reflection of yourself where once you saw an enemy. You will begin to take full responsibility for the reflections you see acknowledging that your life is a beautiful magical mirror. Using this mirror, you will have deeper understandings of others and yourself and you will begin to hear their thoughts and feelings as you hear and feel your own. You will understand more fully how we are all the same….how we all desire to be loved, heard and accepted. You will begin to hear beyond their words, you will hear expressions of love or the need for it.

You will break through the illusion of the belief in, or notion of, “out There.” You will deeply realize that there is no “out There,” that we live in a holographic world…and that it is all “in Here.” There really is no “he/she did/said this to me”….instead you will instantly acknowledge the truth; “I called forth another to do/say this to me.” We create our world and everything in it every second of every day for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. You will realize that events in your childhood which you have blamed this or that current condition on were actually planned and created by your soul long before you entered your body. Your childhood pain was purposely created by you so that you could learn perhaps one of your greatest lessons. When we stop and take responsibility for these truths we can then begin to live intentionally on a whole new level. When we truly get that every thought, word and action is sculpting the experiences of our lives, and that we have the ability, right and power to say “Enough!” then we become the true masters of our lives.

Pure Intention ~ Deep Clarity

Intention is EVERYTHING! It is the golden compass, it is the helm, it is the vessel in and through which we navigate our lives. When we shift our intentions, we change the course of our lives. When we truly hold within us the intention of “Awakening” we then choose a path of emotional, intellectual and spiritual growth; we call forth sometimes tremendous change. Awakenings will happen on all levels. Your feelings will change, your understandings will change and your vibration will change. In your creation of an awakened life you will gravitate towards and call forth more peaceful and loving people and situations to support your desire for greater peace and love within yourself. You may have to change the soil of your life. You can not grow a magnificent garden in soil depleted of nutrients. We need soil that will support our new intention.

Integrity ~ Do Unto Others….all others

Ask yourself. “WHAT DO I WANT?”

“Do you want to Awaken? Do you want happiness? Do you want peace? Do you want love? Do you want abundance? Do you want prosperity? Do you want to live in the Universal flow and grace of life?”

I hear so many people say “I am doing all the work and intention setting and visualizations but I am still blocked!” I myself was doing the same thing. I knew I was blocked, and I knew that something within me was creating that block. When I took full responsibility for creating the block, I got clear on finding where I was out of integrity and shifted my energy so that flow was again created.

If our intention is all of the above plus awakening we must have integrity. If we intend to awaken then we must walk the talk…we must be pure in our intentions. If we don’t set intentions on awakening then we may have wonderful prosperity but inside feel miserable and unfulfilled….we may have one or more of the items on the list but we will not have it all. In order to have it all….to truly be in the flow on all levels, we must desire the same for all beings. The illusions of separation, lack, suffering and teaching others lessons through pain must be dissolved. WE ARE NOT SEPARATE FROM EACH OTHER….we must want the same for all people. There are no enemies, we are all in this together, we must all grow and evolve. If we want to awaken and create peace, love, abundance and prosperity for our self then we must want it for everyone. Otherwise we will be blocked, jammed, and out of integrity with being truly loving and peaceful.

Look in your heart. If there is someone you are judging write a list of the qualities that you don’t like in them and then, if you need to, ask someone close to you to be honest and tell you if they see these same qualities in you; or just look into yourself for the same qualities within you that you see in them, release it and let it go….see the oneness and refuse to buy into the illusion of separateness any longer.

If you are harboring resentments of another’s behavior, look into your past to see where you have done the same thing you resent them for doing, release it and let  it go…again, see the oneness and refuse to participate in the illusion of separateness any longer.

If you are envious or jealous of someone, you are buying into the illusion of lack…set your intentions on having for yourself what it is that they have and create it in your own life then thank them for showing you the possibilities to move into. Celebrate and see everyone having the things you would like to have.

If you are angry at another, try placing a card with their name written on it atop a piece of selenite in a spot where you will see it often (I put mine next to my computer screen) and send them love every day. Consciously choose to shift the energy from anger to love.

If you want to be in a relationship with someone who does not feel the same….let it go. They are not the ONE. Do not buy into the illusion that they are the ONE. When you meet the right person for you, you will know it without a doubt…there will be absolutely no confusion, no turmoil, no back and forth; your reunion with your soul mate will be instant, clear, MUTUAL and undeniable. When you get really clear on receiving the relationship of your dreams with a person that loves all of you and not settling for someone who only loves parts of you, he/she will step forth into your life. Until you feel deserving of such a beautiful love relationship, it can not materialize in your life.

May we all awaken to a life of love and peace. May we all live in the unlimited flow of abundance and grace. May we be the change we wish to see.

 

 

Taking Stock...my "Before" Picture...July 17, 2011

Less than thirteen hours to go. Where am I right now and what do I think the 40 day Sadhana will do for me?
My life took a sharp right on April 1st when I gave up my center in Mashpee and moved in with my friend of 35 years and "boyfriend" of only 4 months, Peter. I was suddenly uprooted and replanted and could not believe that I was involved in another serious relationship not even a year after a painful divorce. I could not believe I left the Cape, the place I called "home" for the past 30 years and even more so I could not believe that I was living on a FARM....a real farm, not a gentleman's farm with a few animlas but a full fledged dairy farm that produces 1,250 gallons of milk every other day. Come to find out though, living on a farm is like magic....there is something profound about performing the most base menial tasks which are a mandatory part of making food....it puts you in deep touch with what is really important when you witness life, death and a lot of s_ _ _ every day. The layers of past pain, resentment, forgiveness and guilt lift off me with each shovel full. Understanding, kindness and compassion sink deeper into me with each rub of a cows neck. Healing. Moving back home to Mendon has been a blessing, allowing me to reconnect almost daily with my sister Anne and her family and with my 88 year old Mother who lives with her. I see my other siblings more frequently as well and its been great to catch up with old highschool friends. Moving in with Peter's family came with some minor adjustments with everyone getting used to each other and my getting accustomed to being so far from my girls but now Pete's children, Erin and Pete Jr, feel like family and my daughters, Kelsie and Rachel, come and visit every other week. We all have a great time together....it's been really beautiful. Peter is the happiest, kindest, most in tune and hard working person I have ever met. All in all, on a personal level, I have never been happier.
Work is the area that i would love to transform; it always has been the area in which I have struggled the most. I have never been motivated by making money....I LOVE to do things for other people but I seemingly especially love to do them for free. Maybe that's my lot in life? Do I believe in lots, in an unchangeable destiny or do I beleive we can change? I love doing energy work, I love to paint and I love to teach classes but I am not super busy with these things! Originally, I thought that I could keep up with my clients on the Cape but life had other plans. I have a few clients here through my new affiliation with Franklin Yoga and the sessions have been better than ever but I am far from busy and the bills have certainly not slowed down. I have even contemplated taking another type of job but I know that 100% commitment to doing what I love is what is needed for me to make enough money to support my self and my family.
I have not painted in 3 months and looking back on my life, it is a commonly heard story....looking back it looks like insanity! WHY do I stop painting? WHY do I stop doing what is so easy and fun for me?! Two days ago I cleaned my studio space for the 1st time since I set it up in April....getting rid of the extra clutter and making more painting space. I work 3 hours a day for my share on the farm but more often than not I end up putting more time in. There is always a surplus of things to do while living on a farm and I love to do them. I suspect that my allowing distractions to pull me away from my work is due to subconscious blocks and insecurities about said work...I am hoping that the Sadhana helps me dissolve those blocks and frees my creative juices so that my art flows from me like a gushing river...prolific, amazing, blissful and abundant. I truly hope that it is not just another part of my ongoing self-distracting psychosis! I don't know if it will help but I am going to do it anyways!
catepillarI love signs & sychronicities and allow them to guide me affirming my being on the "right" track. I took this photo of a caterpillar because he was so beautiful on one of my dill plants in late June and posted it to my facebook. My friend Brad sent this message, "Black Swallowtail Butterfly.... life lesson: "transformation" ... Hmmm..." The morning after I committed to doing the Sadhana as I sat on my sister's porch, a black swallowtail fluttered all around me nearly landing on my shoulder.
I am ready to change, ready to transform, ready to break free of that which keeps me from flying...

 

September 2010

The sun does not "rise" in the sky....we are the ones who move toward it....and away from it, each day.

I would love to share two things with you. First, my friend Martha Powers told me about the most AMAZING thing last week; it is a recording of crickets slowed down by the ratio of a human lifespan to a cricket's life span. You can hear a sample on Youtube of how their chirping transforms into a heavenly chorus, as if they were singing a beautiful ode to creation and God. (To order a one hour unlooped copy of the God's Cricket Chorus, Call Julie at The  Center of Light in Vermont at (802) 674-9585....($16 each plus S & S)).
 
Secondly, an experience....as I watched the morning light fill the horizon a couple of days ago over Menahaunt Beach, a cricket chorus sang in the background. I completely shifted into gratitude while listening to their sound as a beautiful hymn and as I did so, I felt a band of angels surround me. It was as if my shift in vibration called them to me but maybe the shift opened my awareness to their constant presence. I stood up on the lifeguard chair to watch the Sun rise and all of a sudden I could feel my body moving with the Earth to greet the Sun!! In the past I would watch the Sun "rise" as if it were the moving planet. This distinction that the Sun does not "rise" in the sky at all, that instead we are the ones who move toward it and away from it each day, became a metaphor for something greater.
 
When life does not go the way we would like it to, we sometimes feel as if the angels or God have "forsaken us" or "abandoned us." We no longer feel "connected". In these moments, however, the reverse is true....we are the ones who abandon and foresake our divine connections. Through our fear filled thoughts and our interpretation of painful experiences as being "bad", "wrong" or a "punishment for something bad we have done," we shut the valve off to the ever present flow of love and light. We always have an open channel to God, Source, Universal consciosness, and the Angels. We access it by being in a state of gratitude and openess and by honoring each step of our journey....the painful steps as well as the joyful ones...for truly it is....."all good." 

Life is a magical mirror...for better & for worse...August 2010.

Doing "Mirror Work" has helped me tremendously to look more deeply into myself, release blockages that I did not see clearly and thus create more freedom, love and joy in my life. I am moved to share a personal experience with you in the hopes that it will inspire you to use this powerful tool more often in your own life.
 
Our thoughts, intentions, words and actions are constantly giving the Universe ("God", "Goddess", "Source" and/or "Great Spirit") a daily wish list. And Universe responds by either 1. giving us what we wish for (or desire to make manifest), 2. giving us a push in the direction towards what we wish for or 3. by revealing what is within us that is blocking our pathway to what we truly wish for.
 
Doing "mirror work" involves constantly seeing ourselves within what we perceive as "out there" (I am THAT, I am) so when we see beauty to feel that beauty within us. I have found that paying close attention to things that make us angry or hurt brings the greatest gifts of all. At these times, life is saying "Look! Look inside yourself....there is a gift here in this pain....a revelation, an epiphany to be received!" 
 
I recently received two such gifts that have helped me to transform my life. The first came from one of my best friends, who in a bout of anger called me a fraud. At first I was so stunned and could not understand how he could possibly call me that; simultaneously I hurt like never before, it cut to my core. My first impulse was to blame him for saying it, tossing it back in his lap by labeling it "his stuff". This person had known me through all of my experiences and knew that all of the things that have happened to me throughout my "spiritual" journey were very real. Being a fraud, like I imagine it is for most of us, was one of my deepest fears. To think that other people would think that I was making up what I truly experience and have experienced was horrible to me. This word sat nagging inside me for weeks because I knew on some level I had manifested his saying it.
 
The second message was delivered by another very close person to me, my brother Philip, who deeply shares my love of the divine and Angels. He asked me to sit down last week and not say a word. He said he needed to share with me the visions and promptings he had been receiving about my work. His intensity and passion penetrated through my silence, again to my core, "Nick, you have been given a gift. You were given instructions by the Angels to paint twelve paintings. They chose you for a reason and you have not completed the project! You NEED to finish the project before you do anything else. I know you are worried about money but Spirit takes care of those who take care of Spirit. Do you have any idea how many people you are letting down by not finishing the paintings? We believe in you and believe that the Angels chose you to get this work done....we may all be crazy, but you need to do this, it is important!"  
 
Suddenly, I understood how I was being a "fraud", it finally made sensediv messg. How could I truly believe myself what had happened to me, how could I truly believe in the Angels and their messages, if I were not acting upon the instructions that were given to me? I saw clearly now that life was mirroring to me through being called a fraud what was within myself. Ugly, painful, embarrassing, but it was true. I listened, I heard, I saw the gift, I asked myself "Do you deeply believe in what you have experienced?", a resounding "YES!" came through and with renewed commitment and integrity, I shifted into action. The next morning I walked into Botello Lumber and purchased the next three boards for the next three angels and primed and sanded two of them. The following day I sketched out the third Angel of the Angelic light Project, the Angel of Divine Messages; how synchronistic! And each day I have made the project a priority, not allowing myself to leave the store until I have spent time on the painting.
 
I share this story with you within the possibility that it may help you see more deeply the gifts within the painful experiences and words that present themselves to you. May you too see through the illusion, be open enough to see your truth, courageous enough to make changes and allow these beautiful gifts to serve you and the World. And if you want to take it one more step further, thank the person who delivered the pain! Its all good, we are all human and we all have work to do!
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